Tuesday, February 28, 2012

All my heart, it breaks every step that I take

Everything either thrifted or vintage except shirt and cardigan (f21) and boots.

I'm working on an "about me" section. While this may seem trivial, this is a deep struggle for me. I fold my hands and stare at the blank edit post. And stare.

It's hard to control what people think of you, and the simple written "about me" is more than a label, it's a burden. It challenges how you see yourself, how you want others to see you, and leaves little room for subjectivity. It's hard to make yourself a commercial, an advertisement. I am the Queen of Exaggeration, clearly, my kingdom is the mountain I've made from anthills... but challenge yourself. How do you see yourself? Is it possible to entice someone from your personality alone?

The title comes from Lana Del Rey (yes, I'm on the bandwagon) song "Born to Die." I absolutely envy any artist that can catch my attention with the title of their piece alone, that is a talent I've never possessed in my short history of writing (thus why I borrow every title from a lyric that speaks to me). My favorite films have the same in common.

This barn was magical. We live not only in a face paced world, but a world of routine and familiarity. What a forgotten blessing the simple act of exploration is. I kept hearing voices outside and was scared I was intruding, but the light and the environment were a crime not to take an advantage of.

I love clutter. Possibly because my room is never clean. When I was a kid, my mother framed this poster above my bed that had kittens in buckets with paint all over them that said "I'm not messy I'm creative" and that's a great illustration of how I lead my life... Something about junk amuses me...I want to know who had that couch before and their story. I've always found intrinsic value in objects. I found old coloring books, classic literature and magazines scattered in the corners.

We crawled through a very tiny hole into the silo, where there was one single tree inside. My luck the lighting wasn't any good in there...

I have a feeling I'll return back to that barn soon. It feels like my secret garden.


1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure how I see myself either. I used to struggle over "About Me"s too, but then I decided to keep it really simple and let my blog speak for itself. Still, though, I definitely know what you mean XD

    I love your style. It's not "my" style, but you do it so well. It's unique, classy, detailed. You're really talented.

    I especially love the outfits from Factory Girl, Best Find a Surgeon, Blackbird Claw and Wait for the Summer :)