Secrets, secrets are no fun.

Cardigan - J.crew factory, shirt - f21, shorts - DIY thrifted, necklace - f21 clearance wooot, journal - gift!

Meet Secrets. 

She's the shy little journal I take with me everywhere I go. She is the vessel for the one off, crazy ideas that come into my head before I pull a Kubla Kahn and am interrupted before I can finish my thoughts (that Coleridge poem has become the irony of my life.) Just the notion of someone snatching her from me and dissecting her content makes me shutter. Some of these ideas are bizarre even to me after a second glance, not to mention these are the barest essentials of things I find meaningful. Secrets would, of course, make very little sense to the outside perspective - I fear if I were forced to explain to someone what I meant by what I wrote at times, the value of having Secrets would be eradicated. Everything in  Secrets is like an abbreviation for an even bigger idea, or contributes to a higher purpose. Some nights I keep her by my bed and when I can't sleep, I'll write what I'm thinking about. Most of it is undecipherable handwriting, and not being able to remember what I was thinking about at odd hours of the night doesn't help break the code.

That seems to be the nature of most facets of inspiration these days - it's something gently realized as in a passing observation that rings truer and truer the more it's pondered. I don't understand these poets and writers who produce multitudes of stories, each with dimensions of plot that entertain sub-concepts when I feel like I use the same word too often. I only call a poem or story finished when I've given up the chase of expressing my idea in the realest translation possible. 

Someone told me Leonard Da Vinci wrote his to-do lists in his journals opposite the first draft sketches of his major masterpieces. While I juggle the heftier concerns of my artistic development,  I wonder about what I'll wear. My closet is like a puzzle that has no finished product, I just keep rearranging the pieces until I like what I see. I guess I do this with stories and poems too. Some days it comes easier than others. I just have to make the most of the days that count. 

Everyone needs a Secret in their life. Mine was a gift, and its one that continues to give. These pages are like mirrors where you can learn about the strangest ways the human mind ticks and tocks. 

-H. 

Makeover!

 shirt - forever 21 (old), skirt - family vintage, belt - borrowed, scarf - borrowed, earrings - vintage buttons

Notice anything different? Unless your powers of observation are minimal, I CUTTED ALL MY HAIRSES OFF.

I've finally joined the ranks of Twiggy, 1950's Audrey Hepburn, Edie Sedgwick, Mia Farrow and other 60's mod era fashion icons and hacked off my follicles. I hate to use cliche words such as "empowering" but I really do feel so liberated with short hair. I donated that alarmingly heavy pony tail to Locks of Love so someone in need can have the hair I once babied.

I've always been in love with a woman who could pull off short hair (see list of style icons I adore listed above) I always worried I'd come off too manly, because of my large nose... 3 days later and I don't regret a thing except that I didn't do it sooner. It's changed my view of the beauty standards. I'm embracing it. I've been told time and time again (though the compliment never gets old) that I favor Emma Watson. I completely adored her makeover, and as we all know, every good artist copies, every great artist steals. How could you not love her with short hair?! Too many girls feel limited to having long hair because it's safe. That's been the reoccuring theme I've heard among reactions to my dramatic makeover: "Oh I wish I could pull off short hair!" YES YOU CAN! Just do your research, and try it! It'll always grow back. What was really helpful for me, and it might be a fun experience for anyone who wants to just play around, is this virtual makeover site from InStyle that allowed me to try out several pixie cuts. It's fun just to play around with!

My mom made me promise that when I have short hair, I must wear lots and lots of dangle-y earrings. I have no problems with this. (image: emma-watson.net)

Ok, enough about hair, let me tell you about the outfit: did it ring any bells? This was an impromptu look heading out the door... The inspiration is quite literal and taken from Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Remember when she hacked off all her hair? Yeah, that's exactly how I felt after I cut all mine off.  Roman Holiday is one of my favorite Audrey Hepburn films.

(image: en.wikipedia.org)

I hope to continue updating regularly again. Classes have taken over my life, and I thoroughly miss my "me time" that photoshoots provide. xx

-h.

My Inner Child

top - Urban Outfitters, tank - hand-me-down, pants - thrifted, shoes - urban outfitters, belt & necklace - vintage, ring - gifted

Much like the title implies, this shoot was meant to release my inner child. I wanted to capture a childlike sense of wonder, innocence, and a playful spirit. These were taken at a Children's Muriel in a part of town I'm particularly fond of. I grew up around this area, so there's a double meaning for invoking the kid in me. Who doesn't enjoy balloons and butterflies? While typically I tend to flock towards the darker things, sometimes you need to learn to laugh at yourself. Reminds me of a quote, in paraphrase "blessed is the man who laughs at himself, for he shall be forever amused."

It is no secret I have a predilection for butterflies, which tends to clash with my consuming bug-phobia (which a quick consultation of google search has taught me this condition is called "entomophobia"), which somehow excludes them. My mom gave me this ring for my birthday.

Releasing your inner child is an understated virtue that rarely receives attention or value - have you ever studied and watched a child play? They're so creative. I once babysat a little girl while I was in high school, she was absolutely adorable. While babysitting, she wanted to play barbies with me. I felt so inadequate - in my time growing up, I had forgotten how to play with toys, while she quickly invented personalities, background history, scenarios, and situations so easily. I made the doll talk how I would, react how I would, think how I would, while she acted with ease. It was a little tragic to me, realizing how much time and maturity had changed me.

I like to listen to songs while I'm getting dressed for a photo shoot to help channel me into the moment, songs that inspire a look. The song I listened to for this look I think makes for a good accompaniment, you've been warned, it's a nice flash back. Listen here if you'd like, embedding was disabled :)


Side note: that balloon is still lurking around my house! these foil balloons take weeks to deflate! I'm so used to the rubber ones that pop so easily...

-H.