Dilettante

Top - thrifted (banana republic), skirt - Urban Outiffters, tights - don't remember, shoes - nine west, peter pan collar - f21, origami stock photos @ http://www.sxc.hu/, 

noun 1. a person who takes up an art, activity, or subject merely for amusement, especially in a desultory or superficial way; dabbler.
2. a lover of an art or science, especially of a fine art.

~

I feel like I'm very slowly and meticulously 'finding my niche' in this industry and it's simultaneously helping me discover myself on some level.

Let me explain the significance of 'the niche': when I first started this blog, I had all the support in the world from my friends and family. One of the most guiding pieces of advice I was given was to find a way to break a mold, find a specialized niche that is completely of your own invention - let's face it, there's a million beautiful girls out there with their own unique sense of style who want to share it with the world. That's great. Power to you. But if you don't differentiate yourself from the next girl, your style and personality are just going to be washed under the rushing sea of the rest of the community. I find myself saying these sort of things when giving style advice* to other girls: don't do that, it's too mainstream. Meh, it's been done before. I consider myself a snob in this manner, but how else are trends made if you're not a little daring and stubborn?

*I think that's the biggest perk of the blog. Somehow running one translates to people I know remotely anything about fashion/style. So I get told often "I'm gonna make you my shopping buddy!" Sure, if you want someone to tell you how mainstream something looks and suggest something else that looks terrifying on the hanger to you, I'm your girl. (That being said, I really should concoct a formula/blog post about how to shop in thrift stores, because that's what I keep running into - people who like the idea of buying reused, but have no idea where to start.)

Having just constructed a very snotty argument about not wearing conventional trends, I bring myself to talk about the peter pan collar - ok, ok, it is a trend right now, BUT I firmly believe it's one that I will stick with because A. I've always loved them and their childlike quality. B. With my hair, it superficially makes me feel like some sort of 60's mod and thus gets me one step closer to time travel. C. collars in general are decorative palettes to me. (I've been in the habit lately of taking clip-on earrings and putting them on my collars. Expect a blog with one soon.) and lastly, D. because they're such a trend now, I'm able to find them everywhere I go, whereas before, I was on eBay a few months back looking at some from Hong Kong. I just saved myself a bunch of shipping and handling.


-H.

When I have my own magical castle I call home, I'm totally doing this. 

In and Out of Focus

top - banana republic (thrifted), skirt - j.crew factory, tights - new york & company, necklace - vintage

 You'll have to forgive me because I'm still learning the in's and out of my new birthday present, the tripod. These shots were mainly experimental on both the aspects of angling and camera settings. But I think I have a better grasp than what I started out with - somehow in my mind, I thought that since I now have my own camera and tripod the laws of science would bend for me but lighting is still the greatest foe of the photography world....I have not yet mastered that.

In happy news, I ended my insane six classes this semester with all A's and a B in Biology (I told you, science and I aren't friends...) and decided to regroup before I embarked on summer classes to finish up my degree. Plus, I thought this would be an opportune time to take this blog places where I would like to see it go, to grow exponentially and really have time to devote to these virtues.

It's wonderful to breathe again. But even more, it's wonderful to feel aspirations again. When we have countless obligations, what we really want to do for ourselves becomes tragically trampled - especially when what we want to do is better ourselves, or tend to our own happiness and well being. I get truly captivated by the ideas I come up with on a whim. It's a wonderful thing to feel like, "hey! I can do this and it would be cool!" 

I have tutorials upon tutorials to guide me through better portrait taking. This really reflects just how much emphasis I'm putting on myself these days - I can now fully rely on just myself to get what I need done and that's much safer. If I believe in myself, I should be able to rely on myself. It feels like for most of my journey in this blog, one or other element has been off balance in this scale where equilibrium is success. More proof that everything in life isn't handed to you, you have to build upon something to become greater. 

Being 20 feels strange. For the build up to my birthday, I did my best to avoid thinking of it for the duration. It's hard to express my feelings towards turning this age, but I struggle with age and numbers that determine maturity. 

Just waiting on the weather to improve before I experiment with the tripod and camera, i.e. the tools of my new trade.

-H. 

Sun & Moon

scarf, blouse, belt - thrifted, skirt - banana republic, earrings - vintage

So I recently wrote a story for one of my classes about a guy that sees butterflies

No seriously. This was my second story due for an assignment, my first one I was proud with, but didn't feel it was necessarily a "break through" - ie didn't really do what crazy things run through my mind on a daily basis much justice. Sometimes I humor myself and pretend I know what I'm doing, using intuition as my own critic.

So I wrote this story, right? It was about this crazy guy who hallucinates, written from his point of view. You really can't decipher what's real and what's not (or at least, I like to think.) I'm very drawn to psychedelic things thanks to my renewed obsession fascination with the Led Zeppelin film "The Song Remains the Same" and I decided to jump in head first. 

So the day it's due, and we're all critiquing each others stories (me with my pink pen of doom) and I see my story being passed around and I get to briefly take a glimpse...and I see it covered in writing from all different handwriting. Ugh. Fine then, I think to myself. Some things work and some don't. I made a mental note to scrap the idea entirely. I was incredibly worried this was too specific of a theme for a general audience - not everyone finds what weird things I find interesting. 

A day passes and I get my story back. Turns out the writing all over the page wasn't endless criticism, like I thought. It was actually praise! Everyone loved it! I was floating on cloud nine the rest of my day, even took the next class to reread the comments people made. If there's been one immediate affect this writing class has had on me, it's coming face to face with my worst demon, even more than writer's block - the fear of having my baby torn apart and ridiculed. This is yet another aspect I've fully emerged myself into, in hopes of breaking this habit - I practically throw my writing to anyone with eyes. I used to be so secretive. It's a great feeling. 

I tell this story not to "brag" of any writing skill I might possess, but rather, to update on a thought I posed a while ago. I opened up, honestly for the first time ever on this blog, about some rather personal feelings I was battling with - mostly about inadequacies and struggling with a real vision for my artistic endeavors. I'm nearing very important life deadlines, mostly regarding college and career choices. I'm at my absolute wit's end with decision making (god knows I'm horrible at it...I think I found a demon to challenge that other one...) and I'm telling you all this to explain the beauty of falling so low you can't fall any further. At this point, all you have is instinct and primal need. And I thought, what's my absolute most basic need? Writing. I want to do nothing more in life than write to my little heart's content. 

So not only is this a story of self discovery, but listening to your heart. It took me a while to find my own voice, especially with the "writing" medium. I took a lifeline and wrote about something uniquely inherent to myself and bit the bullet with my fear of criticism. I know I'm going to mess up in the future and write a less than perfect story, even to myself, but at least for now, I know what I'm capable of and have a steadier eye on the prize.

Oh, and the look today. SCARF. Love it. I love sun and moon things, saw this scarf, and have been planning a number of ways to wear it and show it off. Also, yellow colorblocking. Funnily enough, I dislike the color yellow on a regular basis, but the flow of colors and the spectrum I'm working with were appealing enough.

Thank goodness for swanky neighborhoods with fountains in the middle of the road.

-h.

Sometimes as I'm editing my photos, I feel like my cat is watching, so I let him do the decision making for me. He doesn't approve. 

A lesson in styling.

Blazer - borrowed, t-shirt - Urban Outfitters, jeans - f21, tights - Urban Outfitters, shoes - gifted

It finally happened.

I was truly mistaken for Emma Watson from someone ready to ask for an autograph. No, I'm still not down from cloud 9 yet. Why exactly a British starlet would be cruising around a small town in North Carolina in line at a pizza restaurant, I'm not exactly sure. But accordingly, a famous rap star was reportedly spotted around that area recently and this dear girl kept her eyes peeled in case anyone else famous prowled the scene. Don't blame her. Smart girl.

Should've faked an accent and gave her my autograph anyways. But I'm not that mean... So I'd like to think.

You know, I had absolutely no intention of relating this story to my latest look, but alas, perhaps I can make a cheap connection to the union jack on my chest. Bah ha!

So a lesson in styling:

I think we as fashion consumers have a habit of wanting to make all of our outfits perfectly match, bonding this idea with the notion it might look more "high fashion" and that we put more "effort" into it. I compare this with the days I search like an animal for clothes on my floor that are still clean when matching and style is the last thing on my mind rushing out the door for classes.

But when is matching, too matching? I nearly paired this shirt with some adorable union jack earrings borrowed from my mom. Looking in the mirror I thought, hmm. I'm already putting my focus on the union jack here. You don't need two. One's good. I also nearly wore red lipstick. Again, there's red in the shoes, the shirt, and even the nails.

I guess the rule of thumb here is...

• If you see one major focus color (red in this case) two times already, any more than that would look too centered on that color. You want complimenting colors, a palette full of choices, not a reoccurring theme.
• The goal is to look effortless, which I don't know about you, but it's a struggle for me. The more we try and put everything in our closet together that matches, the less "magic" we have in the look, I suppose. It looks rehearsed.
  
• These are all crude judgments forged by yours truly and her opinion, I could be speaking against what every person as a stylist with a career has ever fought for in her life. But I don't take back what I said - In a common, every day look, I think these are helpful tips. That are unisex. I've told my dad before that he was wearing too much of one color ("does a gray shirt, with gray pants and gray chucks look good?")
  

Funny enough, I used to only wear t-shirts at one point in my life, now I can't stand being caught in one if I'm not heading to bed. This was an exception. Blazers + t-shirts = makes any casual look just that cooler. I really like this look on guys. HINT.

Rambled enough, got homework to do.

-H.

Arm and arm, we are the harmless sociopaths

Dress - Urban Outfitters, tights - Urban Outfitters, Shoes - unknown, jewelry: owl necklace - gifted, heart pendant & matching earrings - family vintage, specifically.

One thing I should note is that I'm addicted to tights. Literally. I have so many pairs I've lost track. I haven't been able to enjoy them what with 100 degree whether this time of year, but trust me, when fall arrives, I have a feeling most all my looks will include some variation. Most girls have shoe lust, which of course, I have too, but I have tights lust. Urban Outfitters doesn't help my cause.

Edit: I just found the tights on Urban Outfitters online again! It seems they've brought this pair back, if anyone else can't live without them: here.

~

I've been thinking about life.

I imagine life as a great big canvas. It's vast and blank, at disposal for creativity. Some people regard it with fascination, instigated by the emptiness, captivated to challenge their creativity. They see hope, they see options. Some people are fearful of it - all the choices are overwhelming, it's impossible to make a verdict of the endless calculations of possibilities within their own mind. So they often settle, forfeit the challenge. I'm torn between the two. The future is always something I've put off, until I realize the future I ignored is the present I'm living.

There are so many things I want to do in life, how do I pursue just one field? I know I can do whatever I put my mind to - my problem is my mind hard to keep up with at times.

I've thought about fashion, but I've always been more enamored with the artistic side of it. I can't focus on what simple style, as I'm sure you've all noticed. With such a wide range of interests come an unpredictable set of inspirations.

I've been out of touch with epiphanies for a long time, too long. But sharing a lunch break with a coworker in the North Carolina humidity of the afternoon by the outdoor eating area, with an ensuing conversation about life and goals provided revelations I needed. She shared some extremely useful blogging tips - blogging tips that evolved and translated to life tips for myself, the more I meditated on them. Thanks, Jess, if you're reading!

I suppose the ultimate moral of the story is not to fret. The more you fret about what you're going to do in life, the less decisive you'll become. Your goals will become less and less precise. Of course it's necessary to have a vision, but one thing I've learned with shooting my looks is, I have an idea in my head, right? A clear picture in mind I want to produce. But when I put on the clothes and I arrive at my ideal destination for shooting, I actually see what I have to work with - and most the time, I'm forced to become innovative with what's around me, and in turn, I create something else entirely that I'm pleased with. I think that's life. Circumstances happen, places change, and you make do with the tools you have to create a masterpiece.

I'd love to hear all of my readers thoughts on life and any revelations they've had in the comments.

-H.

(P.S. another theme I'm merging into my blogging as a part of my inspiration. You remember when I mentioned there are songs I listen to when I get prepared for a shoot? The song for this shoot, and mostly this blogging portion, is this song by Andrew Bird called "Oh No". The song is absolutely beautiful - but I'll let you discover that for yourself. Enjoy this link.)